The cold mist of air twisting and twirling in the sky above to give perfection to my tangled life, which was partially known and fully stranger to me, even failed to console me on this hardship. The drizzling cold seemed to add some essence in the environment. But for me, it hadn’t succeeded to penetrate in my heart because my heart was full of your love, my heart was full of your memories and it contained not a single space for anything.
And from here my story begins.
“Fluera, I’m back.” I was flattered to hear Ravin’s voice.
I was personally confused. Was this what I wanted? Did I want Ravin to come back in my life?
“No. But yes!” If yes, then why did I send Ravin to live his old life? Why did I break up with him?
I am the reason why those beautiful eyes of his wife have been covered with pain and tears. I am the reason why those two children have given up hope for their daddy to turn up with chocolates in his hands. How can I fall to that extent? Am I that much selfish?
However people say ‘Everything is fair in love and war.’
War? Okay, that was fair. But, love?
“I love you Fluera. And I know you love me too. I’ve come just for you. Now, let’s go somewhere else no one else can see. Let’s start our new life together. Let’s get lost into one another forgetting about these tantrums and the war. Come, come Fluera. Let’s go.”
I shook my head. He tried to look into my eyes but I refused because his sea-blue eyes wouldn’t let me collect guts to deny.
There was a fence in between me and Ravin. A fence called ‘The Barbed Wire Fence’ which wasn’t letting me to fall in love with Ravin.
We had nothing in common. I was volunteering as a nurse in this war-zone Nepal during the Maoist insurgency and Ravin was fighting for his country. I had humanity; he was trained not to have it. I was a well grown up European girl who lacked courage while he was simple yet brave Nepali soldier. And most importantly, I had a life where love was always missing and he had plenty of those. Will this conservative Nepali society accept me as Ravin’s second wife? Will my father accept my aberrant relationship with Ravin?
“Everything is fair in love and war.”
The same dialogue, again. It might be fair in love but what about humanity? What about those dreams that my father had dreamt for me? Was it fair to shatter your father’s dream without his permission?
My hands began to tremble. I realized that the letter sent by my father was in my hands. I could clearly see those bold, heart punching words, although my eyes were full of tears.
He had written the letter to deny my relationship with my love.
Unquestionably, how could he accept it? I had come here as a nurse without his consent and he had fixed my marriage with some rich merchant, which I had denied. And, my love wasn’t that much rich. He was a soldier. His life was full of difficulties. He was married with two children who still thought that their father died in the bomb blast.
But fortunately, he had survived and unfortunately the bomb blast left behind his left arm paralyzed.
How will any responsible father dedicate his daughter’s future to a guy like him?
“Being a successful nurse is what I always wanted. To help people in need. And Nepal needs me now. The wounded people need a skilled nurse. I want to go to Nepal. And I know my happiness is in that. Are you not going to support me to be happy?” I had asked to my father doubting my own words.
“Sometimes in the search of happiness, people lose the essence of it. You run after it, try to get hold of it. But you can’t, because the mere fact is that you are not chasing happiness, happiness is chasing you. What you need to do is turn back and realize it before it’s too late. You never know when it will grab another’s finger. People often confuse with what they want and what they need, with their objectives and interest.” Her father had consoled her in a way which she did not understand then. But now, his words were becoming clearer.
Then a cold shudder passed through my veins, still not being able to penetrate inside my heart. It stroked a chill on my mind which did not let anything to play on it. Neither my father’s letter nor about Ravin’s wife and sons.
Words like humanity, society, support and pain seemed to disappear from my prospect. The vibes of cold were trying to reach my lips. My lips vibrated. I didn’t know what was going inside my body. My tongue moved. My lips trembled.
“Yes. I’m ready to come with you.”
At that particular moment, everything stopped. Birds stopped chirping, the sun stuck between the hills. The wind forgot to blow. That river failed to roar.
Although the Insurgency had left villages charred, family displaced and people destiny less; I couldn’t see those side effects. I could only see that the position of stars in this particular war struggled and fought to bring Ravin to me, to make me fall in love with him.
I believe everything happens for a reason. It might not be a coincidence that only Ravin survived the bomb blast with only his left arm badly injured and he came to our camp to first aid. Neither might it be another coincidence that our camp chief appointed me as Ravin’s nurse.
So, it was all planned up. It was all planned up by the stars. It was all planned up by his hands.
And suddenly after a moment, everything was normal. The birds, the sun, the wind, the river were all back in position.
I looked into his eyes that same sea-blue eyes of which I was afraid a moment ago. There was something unusual on his eyes; a great uniqueness into it. I had not seen anyone having those kind of eyes, here in Nepal. It seemed as if someone boarded those eyes from Europe and put it into his eyelids.
It was a beautiful and artistic mixture of almond and aryan eyes. Maybe his eyes symbolized that we were meant to be together, meant to be beautifully engulfed into one another like his eyes.
“I will take you to my home.” Ravin said with his sea-blue eyes glittering.
“I’m ready to come with you; wherever you lead me, even in the path of death. Ever ready to climb the barbed wire fence, if you cheer me.”
“But I have already demolished the barbed wire fence between us with my immense love.”
He looked at me; I looked into his sea-blue eyes. Truly I couldn’t see any barriers now between us. I could only see love on his eyes and on the air between us. He approached towards me and kissed my forehead .His cold lips touched my warm body. A kiss of love, a kiss of winter love which surely and finally penetrated my heart.
Wait! Wait! The story isn’t over yet. It was just a prologue.
Long journey, Fluera has to go.
What happens next??
Chapter 1, next FriYay. 🙂