CHROMOSOMES: Part 2

 

 

I saw my mother on the bed, looking at me with a permanent smile on her face.

Her eyes were filled with tears and I wonder if she realized it or not that the tears had rolled down her cheeks and touched her lips, giving more perfection to her smile.

This particular happening took me back 20 years ago….. when I was just 7.

It was the time of April. Spring was at the peak and happiness was in people but at the same time, I was there; completely unaware about life and happiness.

Now and then, I used to wander, in search of food, in search of compassion. My clothes were ragged and I couldn’t remember the patterns of my red skirt or last time my white shirt was white.  My hair was a mess and there were countless allergies and wounds on my body.

It felt as if I was a living dead because no one even cared to notice me.

One day, I was punished and beaten just because I had touched a ball of a rich kid. Though I was small, I has understood the code of the world, “money is everything; a key to contentment as well as callousness.” Because whoever had money was definitely happy; but they lacked the vital feeling of humanity, compassion and love.

I couldn’t remember the last time I ate properly. My body was weak and it felt like it hadn’t received nutrition for weeks.

I went inside a restaurant. If I was lucky enough that day, I would get some leftovers.

As the waiter saw me, he yelled, “You again? Didn’t I say you to never come here? This place is for decent peoples not filthy child like you.”

I stood there, staring at the heartless person before me. I tried to beg and cry for food but I didn’t have energy.

I joined my hands and closed my eyes. I could feel my tears.

Then after some moments, the waiter said, “Okay I will give you the leftovers but only if you wash those dishes on time.” He pointed to the piles of dishes in the kitchen.

I nodded.

 

The hands of the clock where continuously changing, but the piles of utensils didn’t decrease. I wanted to weep but I knew there was nothing inside me, not even a drop of tear to come out.

I saw the waiter on the kitchen door. He was apparently angry. “You filthy child! Only 6 plates in two hours? Now you are not getting the leftovers.”

After saying this, he grabbed the tray of leftovers and threw it on the street for dogs. I wanted to run for the breadcrumbs but my tiny thin legs didn’t help.

I managed to slowly walk till the door but by the time i got there, the dogs were already enjoying their meal.

The dogs usually stared at me and begin to growl with anger reflecting on their faces. That time I realized that a poor human is the poorest among all living beings.

I once again opened the door of the restaurant to go inside because I still have loads of utensil to clean.  Though now I could get nothing in return but I must need to keep my words.

When I opened the door I saw a lady blocking my way. She was tall, brunette and dressed in red. She had big almond eyes, same as mine, slim nose and thin lips which was painted in red. She was elegant with a perfect smile on her face.

For the first time, I had seen someone smiling at me. She didn’t speak a word but instead grabbed my hands and took me to the nearest table.

She gestured the waiters to bring foods and the waiters lined up with beautifully decorated food trays.

The waiter who had scolded me before and didn’t let me eat breadcrumbs was bringing me a whole piece of beautifully decorated sandwich.

After the foods had arrived, the lady said with a soft voice, “This is for you.”

I was particularly amazed to hear this. These four words literally changed my perception towards rich people. That day I realized that god actually sends angels for help.

That day, I ate like anything and everything and the lady was simply smiling at me.

After I finished my meal, I mean I huge meal; the lady asked, “what’s your name?”

I blacked out for a moment because it had been months that I hadn’t been called by my name.

After some time, I answered “Alison, my name is Allison.”

I found my voice to be louder than ever.

She introduced herself as Rachel, the owner of the restaurant.

She again inquired me, “Where are your parents? Where do they live?”

Even though I knew the answer but my voice began to shake, my lips were trembling. The bitter truth which was buried in my heart was finally making its way out.

“I don’t have parent and I live on the streets.” I stammered.

I saw Rachel’s smile fade away which was being replaced with compassion and sympathy.

Her eyes were filled with tears and I wonder if she realized it or not that the tears had rolled down her cheeks and touched her lips, giving more perfection to her smile.

“May I have the honor of being your mother?”


 

Heyyy! so here is the story of Alison’s past… her struggle with life and how she met her mother.

But still the mystery behind Rachel’s  attempt to commit suicide remains unclear.

Stay Tuned till Next FriYay!!!



XOXO,

Rizasa ❤

CHROMOSOMES- Part 1

How can she do this to me? I just can’t believe it.

First of all, she taught me to dream, I dreamt. Then she taught me to live in those dreams, I lived. And now without teaching me to quit those dreams, she is just trying to run away.

I gave her my love, I shared my courage with her and I was always a company to her. And now, I am hollow. Because whatever that I possessed are being taken. Now, I have nothing.

My mind was blank; completely blank. I felt as if my heart had stopped beating. There was no more sensation that trapped me and leapt into me.

A sudden wrench brought me back to life. The phone had fallen from my grip.

I stared at the phone for a while; the phone which changed my life.

I was senseless, emotionless and overall: lifeless. Because the person who gave light to my life and glow to my memories is now hanging between life and death.

I didn’t want to know what will happen nor was I aware about what was happening. But I knew, all the omens which were around, were predicting a horrible end.

I wanted to see her and ask her, “Mother, what compelled her to drop this down?”

When I had no hope, she was there. So, she is my hope. When I thought that my world has end, she introduced me her world. So, she is my world.  She is my family, my love and my every possible thing.

She knows that this little girl of hers cannot survive in this lonely world without her. She knows it!

So, I wanted to ask her what compelled her to take this step.

I have always priortized her, always. But she priortized drugs more than me.

She always used to talk about destiny and fate. Now that I am remembering her words, I once again had to console myself that I was still alive cause the feeling had been so intense but empty.

I wanted to see her and ask her, “Mother, was this your destiny?”

*

I was unaware that I was already seated in my car. I wanted to start the car, or maybe not; but an invisible load on my head didn’t let me take decision.

My mind was going through all those moments spent with her.

The last time I saw her was in the rehabilitation centre. And the only face I could remember of her now is the one where her eyes were covered with tears and her lips with unspoken words.

I heard a woman cry with all her might. I was shaken. I realized that I was actually driving and I didn’t even know.

It took me seconds to recall what just happened in my life.

I saw my phone blinking. I grabbed it and saw 6 missed calls from the hospital. I feared to call back.

After some time, I reached the hospital. When I was heading towards the reception, I could hear my heart beating erratically.

I could feel a bitter cold grabbing my legs and trying to pull me inside the ground. The coldness became more intense with the passing of time.

I looked down at my feet. And then I realized I had no shoes nor was I in a proper dress.

I ran towards room no. 606 where my mother was. It felt as if I had been running my entire life.

“After the darkest hour of the night; there comes a beautiful dawn.” People say.

But what if sun refused to rise?

*

 

My heart beat again, but this time, it was a pleasant one.

I saw my mother on the bed……….

 


YO! the story is vague till now, I know.

But as the story proceeds, more secrets are bound to be revealed and a ravish truth to be discovered.

Stay tuned!!! Until next FriYay!!


XOXO,

Rizasa<3

 

CHROMOSOMES- Prologue

 

 

Want to see you once again;

Once again in the kitchen light,

Again by the scooty side ,

Waving me a warm good-bye.

 

The way you used to smile at me,

Wish the essence I could again see.

Because I am missing every moment spent with you;

Your stories, your gossips and your every single virtue.

 

You rose me up, loved me enough;

And now without you, it’s gonna be tough.

But I’ve no insecurities cause you held me right,

And made me strong enough to survive,

Without you by my side!

Without you by my side!!


 

XOXO,

Rizasa ❤


 

 

THE OSCARS

“And the Oscars goes to ARORA.”

She felt as if her heart was going to swell up and burst. Her eyes went wide open; like she couldn’t even blink. The name squired inside her head which began to draw her heart to percept.

As she stood up, struggling to get a grip of the moment, trying to step forward to let her dreams come true.

And finally she was now on the stage trying to deliver a heartily speech but she couldn’t speak because she was blank, completely blank; a mixture of happiness and excitement twirled balancely inside her body.

And finally she started.images (1).jpeg

“(SmilesJ) THIS IS AMAZING!

When I was a child, I used to stand in front of the mirror, hold a perfume and deliver a speech I seemed to make in myself.

And now; today, that I am here in front of such a mass, holding an Oscar……trust me I’ve got no words to say.  This is my first and I surely want more of these!  Thanks to the entire crew and all to those who’ve made me strong.

Thanks to my dad up there, who is proud today, I know! And mum I love you!!  This little girl of yours has made it through.

Thank you so much everyone.

Have a wonderful evening.”

 

This speech seemed to have some heartily truth on it. This only moment had changed her whole life. Before an hour she was an ordinary star and now she is a celebrity with name, fame, reputation and an Oscar. What more could she want??

She was walking out arranging her features into a smile and trying to hold it there and occasionally shortening her stride to catch up with cameras.

This was truly a senseless feeling that she hadn’t felt it in her whole life.

She was on the way home, feeling the difference while the memories of her past bringing a smile on her face. Then a sudden shock caught her. The car stopped with a jerk sound.

She was really distracted and totally stunned, “What happened? Everything alright?” she asked callously.

An apologetic voice seemed to appear “Ma’am I think there is a problem in the engine. I’ll see it.”

The driver went to check the engine.

It had been a long time the driver had gone out but still the hands in the clock didn’t fasten up. And of course, she was not patient.

She came out of the car and asked with disruption, “How much more time?”

The driver was distracted and looked up at her. There was something which stroke him up with the idea; the lonely place, the dark forest and a woman in all these circumstance.

He frowned at her in the darkness.

Her heart skipped a bit. She could feel the first hint of danger.

“I think I should call a friend.” She said blankly; her heart pounding more vigorously.

Instead of replying, he bit his lower lips; scrutinizing her.

She knew that she was trapped; trapped in such a way where you have no alternatives.

Her mind was going blank.

She stepped backwards, gasping for air.

He approached her.

Her heart was beating too fast to make her hear any other thing.

Her breadth caught up in her throat when she felt a huge evilly hand on her hair pulling it back.

She could see his eyes were now dreaded and his lips were pulled back from his teeth. Then he threw her on the ground.

She felt a strong hard substance hit her head and then her chest. It pained hard. The valves of pain occupied her and washed over her head. And it didn’t take a second to make her unconscious.

 


Next day:

When the dew drops came to rest upon her eyes, she woke up. She found out she’d survived. But she felt the chronic pain sending waves of hurt through her head but however she managed. Blood was drying up in thick streaks across her forehead and cheeks. Whatever it was that had happened the previous night had left her dead.

She managed to stand up. Her body was covering with useless heaps, her empty stomach contracted with horrible nausea, though there was nothing in it to expel.

 


After two days:

She was standing in a bright shaft of sunlight. She still couldn’t believe that the driver was capable to do this to her. Not sure what she wanted at this moment; either a public report which would surely bring vain to her fame or stay still, forgetting about what had happened. But this was not what she wanted. What she wanted was revenge, and now she was for it, holding a gun in her hand in front of the scoundrel (driver).

She analyzed the short dark man’s face. She suffered a sensation of anger and revenge for the terrible man who had played with her.

And now any moment would bring her justice, a life with self respect.

Then something weird happened. She’d thought he’d gotten over his guilt. But he’d gone back to exactly how he’d acted – evil and inhuman.

He was laughing holding his breath in his throat.

“Kill me!! Ha-ha. Kill me!! If you only want your  MMS to travel around the world.” The last sentence was said loudly and boldly.

She was momentarily distracted. But this time she thought she shouldn’t be. Her future meant so little without her self-respect.

Though her hands were shaking she raised it up.

Her eyes narrowed here and there. But alas! She didn’t see him. He had run when she was busy conversing with herself and she didn’t even notice.  And now she felt a rude sensation like a big hole was punched in her navel.


After a week:

Time passed even if it seemed impossible.

She’d forgotten the reason for living.

That day had played a cruel joke on her leaving her in a serious dilemma. In which one said “You need revenge. You are not the type who sits in the corner and let him chase you. Go Arora kill him! That’s the way it should be and that’s the way it will be.”

But another sense told her “No Arora there’s not bit intelligence on killing him. However it won’t change what happened to you. But the thing which will change is your future which will be rotating inside the four walls of the jail while your MMS spreads around.”

She wasn’t sure which would be harder to see; if she was inside the dark room echoing from floor to ceiling or certainly hurting by giving a vain to all her reputation. So she concluded to give up the 1st idea but the 2nd one too didn’t help. What was she going to do now??

She was now completely lost in her own path; searching for her lost life.

Suddenly her phone rang. She saw an unknown number on the screen. She picked it up.

The hustle sound didn’t even wait her to say ‘hello’.

“Huh! Remember me??”

She didn’t have to think to know who it was. Whether she was awaken or asleep or even dead she’d bet she would recognize him. He was the same scoundrel.

“I’ll wait for you. Today 8pm and if you won’t come…..” he sounded drunk but his sentence was disturbed by her sudden voice. “What if I won’t come? And don’t you dare to call me again.”

She was about to burst with anger when the phone said “hey hey lady…..First listen to me.” This was said pleasurably but the next sentence was dread. “If you won’t come conclude that your MMS will be dancing around the world tomorrow.”

She couldn’t argue this time. Her voice was shaking. She couldn’t see any way out but the fragile problem haunting her.

 


Next day:

It was noon and there was not a slight smell of the MMS. What did it mean? Had she really gone there? Or was the MMS fake?

The answer is ‘the MMS story was fake.’ Had she only heard the news, the world would have been on her feet but something else happened.

She was laying pale and white except for the purple circles under her eyes which were wide open and her pink lips and her blushful cheeks were now covered with foams and bloods. Never had she imagined she’d give hope so easily. Never had she thought of suicide. She had poisoned herself just after that call.

That single day played it all to change her life. It made an ordinary woman into a big celebrity, which made her believe that nothing worse could turn up but soon after the same day made her realize that nothing better would show up and make an end to her LIFE.


XOXO,

RIZASA ❤


 

Happy New Year Nepal!

3…2…1… HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

A couple of claps and the echoes of screams around the valley welcomed 2074 with a warm hug. A rocket pataka was to be seen in a far distance which exploded just below the shining moon.

We couldn’t have ended 2073 in any better ways.

 

And Nepal couldn’t have started 2074 in any other better ways.

Well, when I was small and when unfortunately I had to travel through the chaotic and crowded public transportation with irritating sounds of horns now and then. I so much wished that a Genie would appear out of nowhere and grant me three wishes.

First, would be of course to have a limited number of passengers in a public vehicle i.e. not more than the capacity of the seats. Second, Please Genie smash all those vehicles producing that dark, polluting air. And Third, Take all those bikes and vehicles pressing that infuriating horn even when knowing that pressing the single button won’t lessen the traffic or broaden the lane.

Now, after 10 years, I finally feel that the Genie really listened to me. However, he was a little miser; fulfilling only my last two wishes. But, yeah considerable!

The sounds of the soothing horns and the aroma of the black perfume from the vehicle’s really helped us to relax after an exhausting day. And may I not say about the overcrowded vehicles. Oh! What a massage therapy it was.

Packed micro bus old bus park
Packed micro bus old bus park

Dear Nepal, I am going to extremely miss these therapies in 2074. JK 😛

Well, what I really want to say is that those three wishes aren’t only the “Fancy wishes” of an eight year old child; those wishes were of every common Nepali who travels through public vehicles to work, from work, to school and back from the school.

With 2074, Nepal has welcomed new traffic rules; better ones actually. Once in a blue moon, we get to see our government doing something good. Now, it is upon us if we really execute it into action or let it fade away like a Genie does after granting the wishes.

Happy New Year Nepal!


XOXO,

Rizasa ❤

THE BARBED WIRE FENCE (chapter 4)

When Fluera heard someone calling out her real name, a hope engraved her life  her; a hope to cross the barbed wire fence. A hope to finally be free and live. The last chapter of #TBWF ❤ 

There was a tall man probably on his twenties; he had a tanned skin, a freshly shaved cheek with a neat moustache. His white shirt was tightly tucked up on his black pants which matched his tie and the leather belt. He took off his shades.

I knew those eyes. I had seen them. They were something different. There was something unusual on his eyes; a great uniqueness. It seemed as if I had loved those eyes before.

“Flu-eay-ra” he pronounced my name again, this time with a little hesitation.

“Do I know him? I don’t think so.”

I stood up, unable to recognize who he was.

“How do you know me? Who are you?” I asked.

The man smiled and his eyes lightened.

“Fluera, oh my god! You don’t recognize me? I am Rajen, remember?”

Rajen? I had almost forgotten about him. The offspring of my curse. He had grown so tall and handsome in these years. But why was he here? However, his personality didn’t seem to match the place where he was standing.

“Oh my god Rajen, You have grown so big, my boy. How come you are here?” I asked.

“Leave my things. How come you are here?”’

“That’s a long story son.”’

We sat by the window. The sun was about to set between the hills and the last rays of the day was adding essence in the environment.

I narrated everything to Rajen; every detail that I could remember; about how love and life played a cruel joke on me. He listened with a deep concentration, never speaking a word to interrupt me but occasionally nodding when I looked at him.

“I can’t imagine my parents doing this to you Fluera. I am so ashamed to call them my parents…I think god knew everything and he gave them punishment. I am glad that from now I won’t regret their death.” His looked down.

“Death? Whose death?” I asked.

“My parents. While they were returning to Nepal probably after leaving you here, the People’s movement II started with bombs, firings and series of curfews.” He continued with waves of tears rolling down his cheek and into the thin fabric of his white shirt, “They never returned; only the dead bodies did.” He fell down to my laps.

“Ohh… I am sorry.” I knew something was wrong on my statement. I corrected it within me “No, I am not” and it wasn’t a lie. I thanked god. How strange!

“You didn’t tell me, why you are here?” I asked him.

A slight instinct told me that he was here to rescue me; god sent him here to take me to the other side of the barbed wire fence. I knew this day would come but I hadn’t imagined it in this way.

And now everything seemed possible; even the barbed wire fence seemed possible to deracinate. The rays of hopes seemed to mix with the last rays of the sun, dipping down to the horizon. My heart pounded. Beats of sweats seemed to support my nervousness. I wanted to hear those magic words that he would utter. I couldn’t believe it, I really couldn’t. Is it a dream? Is it a hallucination? Maybe it is. I hadn’t had enough for months now. But the hope seemed to outweigh every possible reason I found. Every one of them.

He looked at me. I looked back like a child waiting for a candy.

His smile turned to a grin. And it turned evil. He had the same crooked smile, an evil smile, Ravin and Geeta gave to me, the last time I saw them.

He came closer to me and whispered “Just for the reason everyone else does. Get into the bed you filthy whore!”

The last bit of the soul in me – was gone.


XOXO,

RIZASA ❤

Shivaratri Service Camp; A new chapter in the book of scouting!

Scout is a book and going to camps is always an interesting chapter; especially, when it is service camp. We get to meet different people, undertake new responsibilities, deal with public and face new challenges of life. And these lessons are worth taking.

Today, I woke up as an early bird with a smile on my face because I knew this day was going to be awesome, dressed up in the legendary ‘green sari’ and set off for Pashupati. Pashupati, regardless to say, was very brimful.

The devotees, saints, volunteers and Medias were all over the temple.

We had duty right in the front gate of the temple. And I must say, this time was easier than the times when we used to have duty inside the temple. Haha.

Sun was shining bright putrefying our body, the psalms were playing loud, and the crowd was bustling. But still there was calmness on our hearts because we were there to service, to volunteer and  to make that place convenient for everyone.

Although this was not my first time to shivaratri camp, but today was totally a new experience for me. Arranging the lines, supporting the disabled, helping the old ones and coordinating with other volunteers was all about today.

At times, my legs were shivering, my throat was dying for water, the scorching heat of the sun was shining on my forehead but every time I helped someone and when they smiled at me and said “Thank-you Nani”, a new me would generate and every energy that I had lost would automatically restore. A smile would crawl on my face and I would feel complete.

Well, dealing with public is hard, I know. Especially when the public is the crowd who have waited in line since the dawn; starved and tired, but this is what scouting is. Facing the challenges, handling it with a smile and then looking back to see that you have made a difference. This is the happy moment.

And obviously, seeing yourself in the news channel is happier than that. Hahaha.


XOXO,

RIZASA ❤


The Barbed-wire Fence (chapter 3)

And there was Ravin!

I could not help but notice his sea-blue eyes, with love confined in it like a pearl in a shell.
My mind was the sky after a thunderous rain, empty yet content. I was happy, surprised and moreover content. The sleepless nights, the visits to the temples wishing that my love would come back to me had come true. Was it a dream or was it a reality – I couldn’t distinguish the difference. I went towards him, hugged him like I used to and kissed him with all the passion in me. It felt heavenly, to have my other half back in my arms. It felt like my love was never away from me.

“Ravin…Ravin.. Geeta,” I couldn’t complete the sentence. I pointed at Geeta, gesturing Ravin about what she had done.

I sobbed in his arms. But it seemed like he didn’t care. He pushed me with all he had. I looked at him, shocked; his crooked smile was stirring up the hatred on his eyes. Then, I looked at his arms which had just pushed me. His right arm which was paralyzed was perfectly fine now.

“Fluera! You lost. We won.” He said it coldly, so cold that the icy points ran through the fabrics of my clothes and ran deep into my skin. It hurt more than when he was gone.
I looked into his eyes, where once love evoked; now the eyes were empty. I looked at geeta, her crooked smile was inducing hatred every time I looked at her. How could he do this to me? How could they do this to me?

Ravin walked towards me. “Don’t wonder my love. I never loved you. Geeta told me the demand for a foreign girl in this brothel was insanely increasing. I first saw you in the bus. The crazy idea hit me that you were the one, perfect for the business. I followed you, knew everything about you and took my first step were cozily when there was a bomb blast. I could have lured you and brought you right here like I usually do every time. But, you were different. I wanted to know you more. I wanted to you to love me. I had to make myself helpless, so that you’d know I needed you every single time. And girl, you are so innocent and stupid and foolish.” He laughed. “You believed whatever I told you. You insisted whatever that was happening between us wasn’t right and requested me to return. Things didn’t turn out to be as easy as I had imagined.” He laughed again. Geeta laughed. They all did.

Geeta continued, “He came home and told me that you were back firing. We couldn’t let go a precious gem from the grip. So I abetted Ravin to give a second try. And this time, he was successful. He could have brought you here a long time ago. But girl, you were so rich! You needed to cure Ravin’s paralyzed rms.” she rolled her eyes at Ravin. He laughed. Geeta laughed. They all did.

Ravin sighed “And did Dil Bahadur tell you that I died?”

Geeta nodded which was followed by her laugh.

“Oh my god! I told him to tell that I had an important work. My brother is so dramatic.”I was baffled. I didn’t understand what was happening. Emotionally, I was abated. My heart had sunk in the deep ocean like the titanic which had crashed in the iceberg.

I stood numb. “How could he do this to me? I loved him.”

Love is a terrible thing that will make you suffer.

I wondered for how long I had been standing here, unable to remember if this was the last day of my battle or the first day of my premature death. My eyes were heavy with tears. My body was stiff. My legs were old. My knees were struggling to hold me. My neurons had stopped working. And I couldn’t figure out what was happening.

In the far distance I heard someone whispering, “It’s working.”

When I opened my eyes, I was in a bed. My dress worn out, my blouse torn and my lipstick smudged. I stood up with an unusual drowsiness.

I saw a man coming inside the room. I couldn’t recognize him; my vision was blur. He pushed me and I fell in bed again.

Time spent. Years passed. World changed but Fluera remained the same. Her pain remained the same.

“One day (not exactly knowing which day)I would fly back to my home, the place where I belong. Till then, I have to struggle, struggle with life; struggle till misery fails to withstand my courage; struggle till misery kneels down and I can jump over it.
Life was harder, harder than death. I was choking inside the four walls of the room. I cried out loud for help with unheard scream; wetting my cheeks for sympathy with unseen tears.

I missed the real Fluera. I missed her smile, her childish laugh, her curiosity to know the world. Everyone here called me “Ful” I don’t remember the last time I was called by my real name. Between “Fluera” and ‘Ful’; there was a tall barbed wire fence.
I wanted to run, run till my lungs burst out, run till my legs fell off, run as far away from this place but something stopped me. The barbed wire fence stopped me. I wanted to weep, howl and kill everyone who slept with me. I hated everyone who called me ‘Ful’. I wanted to stab Ravin at his heart where he faked love for me. But the barbed wire fence stopped me. There was a poisonous barbed wire fence in between the prostitutes and the real world.

We had limited places where we could roam. Everyone shared their triumphs, misery with us but the only thing we were allowed to share was our fake name. We had our own room, own bed but every time with a different owner.

Everyday was the same. Waking up with my head spinning and my eyes heavy with regrets. I tried hard to live but failed every time. Evenings were a nightmare. Every new evening, new biddings and then, new men.

I had a heart. Ravin filled it with love and then broke it into pieces. Now those piece is owned by different men. And they call me prostitute?

“Trust me. Fluera.”

These words by Ravin were echoing hard on my head. I trusted him, I trusted on love. It seemed like it had been such a long time since I loved or thought about love.
Along with the passing days, my worth started decreasing. Prostitution is the only job in which the more you get experienced, the less you get paid.

One day, I was sitting by the window, looking at the world outside which I wasn’t a part of,

“I suppose I deserved it.” I contemplated.

“I should have listened to my day.” I regretted.

“But I loved him so much.” I sighed.

“Fluera” I thought I heard someone me. But Nah! How is that even possible? Nobody knows Fluera.

“Fluera.” I heard it again. I so much missed people calling my real name. I thought I was getting hallucinations but the sound was real.

I turned back to see who was calling me by my real name.


XOXO,

RIZASA ❤


A little hope had sprung when she heard someone calling her name. who would it be? Find out in the Next chapter! the next is the last, I swear this time. LoL


 

The Barbed-wire Fence (chapter 2)

After Ravin’s death, Fluera had lost hope with life, deeply heart-broken. But she has a long way to go… and more tragedies to suffer with shocking revelations.


 

I felt like a heavy axe had hit on my heart, stopping my heart beat. I was numb. I wasn’t crying but tears were rolling down.

I saw Geeta wailing. She was shaking her head, unable to believe the reality.

“I love you Fluera. And I know you love me too.” I could hear Ravin’s voice echoing around.

Dil bahadur came towards me and handed me the polythene bag.

“Ravin bought this for you. He said he would come to collect but he would never come.”

I stared at the bag for a while and opened it. There was a set of red bangles; a set of Ravin’s love.

It took me back in time when I asked Ravin to buy me bangles.

He had promised to bring me red bangles from the market. I always wanted a set since I saw Geeta wearing it. Geeta had said that red bangles symbolize love and the sound produced by the bangles is a keepsake of your love’s memory. Every time the bangles make soothing clatters; you are reminded that you are being loved or maybe in my case you love someone unconditionally who will never love you in return.”

I came back to reality when I heard Geeta screaming.

“Geeta control yourself.” Dil bahadur consoled her.

But Geeta wouldn’t listen.

She looked at me.”You promised me that you wouldn’t make me lose him again. Nobody keeps their promise; not Ravin, not even you.”

I was still numb, unable to respond. In my mind, Ravin’s voices were echoing hard. I was able to hear it but unable to understand.

“But there is always a reason behind everything.” I heard one of the voices, clear enough to understand.

I tried to console myself. “Ravin isn’t dead. He will come back again in my life like he did on Geeta’s. He promised to marry me. He has to keep his promise.”

The other day, I attended my love’s first funeral and Geeta attended her husband’s second funeral. Geeta was dressed in white sari. Even I was wearing a white long gown which I had bought to wear in my wedding. It was a strapless floral gown with a beaded belt. I was also wearing the red bangles which Ravin had bought for me.

Everyone was staring at me, wondering what was wrong with me. I smiled back at them and told myself, “Ravin was dead for the world … but he is eternal in my heart.”

Geeta stood up, listening to what I said. She came towards me and whispered, “You’re not in a condition to attain the ceremony. Come, let’s go inside.”

I nodded. We went inside. Geeta closed the door. “I know it’s hard Fluera, but we should move on… you can’t let your life to be this way forever. We will be leaving for India the next week to the Ganga to pray for Ravin’s departed soul to rest in peace.”

She patted my arms and controlled her tears. She further added, “I have my uncle there… we will be staying at his place.”
*
It was already dark when we finished packing our stuffs. We were going to go in a night bus to Kathmandu and then we were going to catch a flight to India. I had only few amounts left on my bank after Ravin’s treatment which I used for the trip. But I didn’t care about money. I was rich, right? I had a sister, two loving sons, Rajen and Rojen and most importantly eternal memories of Ravin.

I was still wearing the set of bangles. It kept on making pleasant sounds whenever I moved my hands. Truly, it symbolized my love. Time and again, it made me remember how loved and blessed I am to share a part of my life with Ravin.

The journey was long. Dawn had cracked when we reached Kathmandu. We stayed in a small hotel of the busy city.

The very next day, we boarded our flight to India.

India was hurry, crowd, chaos, noise but still quiet and calm. The conflict and insurgency were away from us.

As planned, we were going to Geeta’s uncle’s home to stay.

Through the narrow paths and congested lanes, we were walking and people were constantly staring at me. Someone even winked at me. I felt really uncomfortable and told Geeta about it. But she said this was normal here. This was India.

I saw a small boy in ragged clothes holding tea cups. He was staring at me, with his eyes full of tears. He shook his head as if he was trying to tell me not to go further. I didn’t quite understand the vibe of it but I wasn’t feeling right at that time. I wanted to speak to the boy. But Geeta didn’t let me, saying that there are many frauds around and we needed to be careful.

“Geeta, I am not feeling well.” I said and I really wasn’t feeling well.

“We are already there… it will just take around 5 minutes now.”

After a long walk which seemed like six times of five minutes, we reached her uncle’s place. Her uncle’s place was somewhere i wanted to be. We had to pass through a dark corridor and I could hear indistinct Bollywood music playing from the distance. The corridor was dimly light, making the film posters visible. Geeta knocked at the wooden door which was at the end of the corridor. Someone opened the door. I saw a girl in lehenga, wearing a heaving make-up. She greeted Geeta but Geeta shoved her off.

I looked around. The place was heavily lit. Different songs were playing from different room, producing noise. I felt really uncomfortable in that place. I could see drunken men playing cards just beside us. The men stopped whatever they were doing and stared at me while passing comments to each other.

I tried not to look at them. From one of the room, a girl came out, flaunting her skin tight dress. She took out a cigarette from her purse and lit it and she puffed out some air, staring at the sky. Soon after, a man came out of the same room. His shirt was unbuttoned.

“Mira!” Geeta called.

The girl who was smoking looked at Geeta and waved her hands. Geeta smiled and waved back.

I looked around; I could see many Miras there. Same skin tight dresses with the same edge of makeup.

“Where are we Geeta? I asked.

But Geeta was not listening.

“What is this? I asked again; this time I was furious and loud.

“A brothel.” Geeta said calmly.

“A brothel? Why are we where? Aren’t we supposed to go to your uncle’s house? I am not feeling right here. Let’s go Geeta.” I insisted.

But she was enjoying the place; I could see it in her face. “This is my uncle’s place. Wait a second, I will go and see if my aunt is here or not.” She went inside the ajar door right beside the room where Mira had come out.

I did not understand what was happening. Why didn’t Geeta tell me that her uncle owned a cheap brothel? I felt like I was in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by unknown faces which looked alike who were staring at me and passing comments.

I closed my eyes and I saw Ravin comforting me, “Everything will be alright jannu.” I smiled at myself.

I opened my eyes, only to find myself on the harsh reality. I saw Geeta coming out of the room with a woman. The woman next to her was a heavy woman with a profound makeup and myriad jewelries which covered up her neckline. She was wearing a red sari and her hair was strangely curled up. She stared at me for a while. I thought she was Geeta’s aunt. So, I gave her a friendly smile but she kept on staring at me; like I was a goat and she was a hungry tiger.

I saw Geeta whispering on the woman’s ear. Then, the woman patted Geeta’s shoulder and said something in hindi which I didn’t understand.
She again took a glance and me and smiled at herself. “Well done Geeta! I had been looking for a foreigner for my brothel for so long. Geeta, you really impressed me. I will give you double of the promised amount.” She laughed, her evil laugh and Geeta smiled, her proud smile.

I was partially confused and fully heartbroken. “What is happening? Am I dreaming? I must be.” I told myself constantly. But I wasn’t dreaming. Whatever was happening was happening with my eyes wide open. I couldn’t believe Geeta would do this. I wished the world would break apart and pull me down or the bird would come and take me away from here.

My bangles made a pleasant noise, making me remember Ravin. I missed Ravin the most. If he was alive, this wouldn’t have happened. I would go running towards him and complain to him about Geeta. How could she do this to me?

“Geeta! You don’t know what you are doing. God is watching everything. He is going to punish you.” I said believing my words. “You deserve hell. I believed in you Geeta, and this is what you do to me. So, everything was a lie, right? You know why Ravin didn’t love you? Because you are not worthy of love. You are not worthy of anything…except shit!”

I had rant and rave on my eyes and my blood was boiling on its highest temperature. But Geeta was calmly smiling, as if she didn’t bother what I had said.

“Ravin? Do you really think he loved you?” she asked folding her arms. “Grow up Ful!”

“Yes! He loved me more than anything. Oh wait! You are doing this to me because you think I stole your husband who could never be yours, aren’t you?” I asked her.

“Whatever.”Geeta exclaimed and rolled her eyes.

“I am leaving this place, I can’t withstand you anymore.” I said and picked up my bag and walked increasing my strides but I felt a strong force grabbing arms and pulling me backwards. Then, I was suddenly thrown away on the floor. A loud clatter of my bangles being broken was heard; the clatter of my loves memory.

I turned back to see who had done this to me.

And there was Ravin!


XOXO,

RIZASA ❤


After what Geeta did to Fluera, has Ravin come from the heaven to rescue her? or is there a deep conspiracy on it? Dear o0ne, catch up with my next chapter (the last one!) next FriYay!

 

The Barbed-wire Fence (Chapter 1)

We were on the top of the hill, a small hill engulfed by beauty. Down the hill, there was a small valley with limited number of houses. A narrow busy river was slithering its way through it. People were occupied, as usual, on the farm beside the river.

Slowly the view was starting to become hazy. The heavy mist of cloud was trying to curl up the village, down the hill. I was scanning through the fog, increasing the length of my neck to get a clear view but every attempt failed.“Don’t even try it’s useless.” Ravin said examining my gestures.
“Is it like this every time?” I asked.
“No, not every time, only during special hours.” He said raising his eyebrows and looking down on the fog where once a beautiful view of a valley was.

“And what is so special about today?” I asked trying to sound interestingly inquisitive.

“You.” he said looking directly into my eyes with his see blue eyes.

We stared at each other for a long time. Ravin came closer to me. I stayed where I was, shivering as his breath pierced my skin making me skip a beat. He put his right hand on my waist. I imagined his left hand too. I put my hands on his shoulders. He came closer. I closed my eyes and welcomed him. My lips were waiting, waiting to be adorned, waiting for his lips to be compressed on mine.

But instead he took his head across my head and whispered on my ears, “The view is clear.”

I opened my eyes in surprise. This wasn’t expected. I looked at Ravin and then down the hill with the surprise on my face.

“Pain comes and goes so quickly in my place; you will not even know it existed.”

I beamed at him. He smiled back.

We walked down the hill, towards his home; leaving the beautiful and artistic view behind. Ravin was wearing a mask, afraid that anyone would recognize him. He didn’t want to create the scene as for everyone he was dead during the bomb blast.

After we crossed the marketplace, we finally reached the residential area.

The residential area was a quiet place after the walk from the market. Ravin pointed to a small mud house. The house was two storied. In front of the house was a small yard. There was a hen coop on the side.  A woman looking stunningly beautiful was standing on the door as if she was waiting for someone. Her white sari explained it all about her reason of loneliness. Two boys were playing on the yard; one looking not less than ten years and other looking not more than seventeen years.

I remember, Ravin had once mentioned about them. The elder one was Rajen and the younger one was Rojen. The woman on the door was most probably Ravin’s wife, Geetanjali.

As soon as the younger boys’ eye met Ravin; they came running towards us, shouting, “Buwa Buwa.”

I wondered what they meant.

“Daddy” Ravin whispered. I smiled at myself.

Seeing her sons running; Geetanjali looked at us. She was taken aback. She blinked her eyes, unable to believe the reality. She stood up and walked two-three steps steadily and then paused for a second. She opened her mouth trying to say something but nothing came out.

Instead she closed it with a gentle smile. A tiny tear drop rolled down her cheeks and touched her pink strong smile.

Geetanjali still had no reaction; she stood with that same expression.

“Geetanjali, I’m back.”

For some reasons, I felt a chronic hurt. I tried to avoid it but somehow it didn’t go away. I tried but still it hurt.

Ravin took me inside the house and introduced me to everyone. Although, I knew them but it was good to meet them personally.

Rojen; the younger one was shy at first but afterwards he became comforted. Rajen was frank from the beginning. He never failed to impress me with his cheerful talks. Every evening he used to come running after school to me to learn ‘your type of English’ he said. That meant the British accent. He was quite funny.

I too had developed a very good bond with Geetanjali. She insisted calling her Geeta as everyone close to her called her by this name. “You are my new sister.” She always told me. People over here are quite easy and fast to make relations. Geeta had kept a nickname for me ‘Ful’ which meant flower. She justified it by saying I blossomed like flower. But actually she was finding difficulties pronouncing my name and I knew that.

One evening Geeta was teaching me to make rice pudding; I heard Ravin’s voice from the next room.

“Geetanjali! I am hungry.”

“Okay, today Ful is making dinner. Patience pays off.” Geetanjali responded and laughed at the same time.
“Really? Can’t wait then.” Ravin exclaimed with enthusiasm.
Geeta was smiling at herself. She was elated to find Ravin back. She had unexpressed love expressed on her smile.

“You love Ravin very much.” I said sounding confused whether it was a question or compliment.

After hearing my words, Geeta’s smile faded. She looked at me; her lips were trembling. She took a long breadth.

“I hope but…” She looked on the floor and a roll of tear dropped from her eyes.

The silence was becoming longer and weirder now.

“But what Geeta?”

“Yes I love him very much.But love doesn’t happen from only one side.”

“Oh… I’m sorry. Why did Ravin marry you then?” I asked unable to understand what she was trying to say.

“That’s a long story. Marriages at our part of country, at our time were different than marriages you have seen. People married in a very early age and spent the whole life together. I married Ravin at the age of 10 when Ravin was just 15. At that age we didn’t know what marriage meant.

With the passing of time, our relationship worsened. Family said, “A child can fix it all”. So we gave birth to Rajen but still nothing progressed. And again the priest told it was because we lacked a daughter in the family. And the second time, we gave birth to Rojen. Genetically, we had no chances for daughter, doctors said. Realistically, we had no chances to improve our relations, we both agreed. And till now we regret marrying each other.

By the time she finished her part of story, my eyes had filled up. I put my hand on Geeta’s hand and said, “You’re brave.”

She forced a smile.

“I thank you for coming into Ravin’s life. He is a good man and he deserves love and I thank God for sending you in his life. You are made for each other.”

This awe stroked me. Neither I had told about my relationship with Ravin to Geeta nor had Ravin discussed. How did she know?

It seemed as if Geeta read the question from my face.

She said, “The very next day of your arrival, I was thanking God for saving his life. Ravin heard me and he said ‘God didn’t do anything. Everything was done by the angel sent by him, Fluera. Fluera saved my life. This was enough to make me believe that he was deeply in love with you.  And your love to Ravin can be easily noticed.  It sparkles on your eyes. I am happy for you, Ful. I have lost him once. Don’t make me lose him again. Love him.”

My hands were still on Geeta’s hands.

“I won’t.  I will pray to god to send love to your life soon.”
She puffed out some extra from her nose, showing her disagreement.

“Things are different for a man and a woman. Seriously Ful! You need to learn many things if you are planning to stay in Nepal.”

And we both laughed.

The next day, Ravin was going to the VDC to renew his documents. The thing was Geeta had already made his death certificate and Ravin was officially dead. I insisted going with him. I wanted to explore the village. But he disagreed.
Ravin was off to VDC. Geeta and I were working on the kitchen. Rajen and Rojen were at school.
It was around 5. The evenings in Nepal had a heavenly feeling in it, so differently beautiful. This was the best part of the day. But that particular day, I was feeling unusual. I was feeling like something bad was going to happen, like my life was turning upside down.
Then suddenly, someone knocked our front door vigorously. It seemed like someone was running out of life. Geeta went to open the door.
Outside there was a man, probably on his fifties. He was wearing a shirt and trousers bigger than his size and a worry on his face. He was sweating. He was carrying a polythene bag.
“What happened Dil Bahadur?” Geeta asked.
“The Maoist… the Maoist …” he stammered.
Hearing this, Geeta and I were both alerted. It was the most terrifying word at that time. They were the one to inaugurate the insurgency.
Dil Bahadur continued “the Maoist knew Ravin was a soldier… “
This time we needed no explanation.
But he continued “…And they shot Ravin and took his body.”


Everything she  dreamt was shattered into pieces. How will  be Fluera’s life  without Ravin?

Long journey, Fluera has to go!

Chapter 2, Next FriYay!!


XOXO,

Rizasa ❤